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I use only perfumes, not sprays, not deos, not roll ons, none of that newfangled stuff; and I very picky about everything related to smells. It’s so bad that the first time I meet a person, if they smell funny, I avoid them almost constantly after that, unless I notice a fix in that, generally a sign of repentance in the form of Old Spice or Charlie.
I find a sloppy dressing sense tolerable if the person in them smells nice, and looking good is a bonus; obviously what comes out of his or her mouth makes the mark, but in those first thirty odd seconds I end up bracketing them- tall, short, old, young, fat, skinny, chubby, gymer, pimples, or not, hair, nice eyes, smells good or stinky, too friendly, posh, formal, well spoken or brainless, feminist, misogynist, idiot, friendly, creepy, weird or eccentric but different, fake or real, money or not, cool or lame, can hang out with them or not, milf or mf, versatile or rigid, boss or bad guy. The list keeps on, and all this happens in seconds.
It takes a very strong will to be able to be fluid about the bracket, and while it looks like we’re finally breaking a lot of stereotypes this century, the first impression is a puddle of mud you can’t not step into for now.
I’m a hippy with a sensitive nose so I’ll be the first to admit first impressions can be really way way way off the mark sometimes, but science won’t completely back me up on that. Funnily enough, science is politically standoffish on this one, and apparently the way you were raised determines how you analyse a first impression. If I had to put this simply, it’s like how a fat girl would respond to meeting a skinny girl for the first time as opposed to how a skinny girl would react to meeting a normal-sized girl; in both circumstances body proportions correspond to assumptions about personality.
Then there are the first impression specialists who hit the bull’s eye the first time around, with equal parts charm and wit, but it goes downhill after that. A- They’re just moody people with torrential mindsets, like some artists, entertainers and reclusive geniuses; B- You’ve found yourself a true blue narcissist; C- Average Joe or Jane decided to impress you the first time around, and you fell into his or her personal struggle for acceptance.
Okay so that means this whole first impression thing might be a hack off to begin with, owing to personal biases and flaky parenting techniques; but you still can’t get rid of it!! Even if you’re a maverick or a rebel, you can’t circumvent this thing; maybe you can make it work for you, but that’s about it. You can’t offhandedly bet that so and so will let his or her biases go once he or she gets to know you better; that’s just poor planning.
Which is why you should just get it over with and fix the way you look; I mean if a bunch of flakes will decide shit about you in thirty seconds, and then run with it like the reflection of you generated in their minds’ distorted mirrors over those flighty manmade measurements of time is the net of your worth, then I say just play the game, even if it’s only to accept the fragility or ambiguity of some people’s humaneness.
Coz is it really worth it, losing sleep over what you could have had complete control over?
If you still disagree then hear this: Two to twenty thousand years later, maybe mankind will be forced to get over itself when we’re proven to be the stupidest race in the galaxy, and by then all the aliens belonging to sub-Homo races we annihilated on Earth in our misspent climb to power will declared war on us, but that’s not going to happen anytime soon. Until that time comes, when in Rome, fake being a roman.
So get into your closet and start that long awaited fashion fix up; look in the mirror long and hard, whatever looks like it needs to be worked on, work on it. Now. Tomorrow morning when you wake up, you will have made a silent promise to yourself to never let a small minded fool determine the course of your life, even if it feels like you’ve sold yourself over to a pseudo-culture created by ignoramuses; even a geisha who paints her beauty on has her own pride, ask Tomoe Gozen.
Welcome to the upgrade.