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So, Your Husband Wants to Have a Threesome…

so-your-husband-wants-to-have-a-threesome

Consult this guide before you summon the mailman.

The scene: You and your husband are having a hot night, curling up together in post-coital bliss. Suddenly, you feel open to new things, so while wrapped in his arms you decide to quote Ludacris and ask: “What’s your fantasy?”

You await his response. He’s silent, then, he utters simply, “I’d like to have a threesome.”

Your mind begins to race. You expected him to want to shower you with vibrators or incorporate food play into your nightly regime or try some frisky teacher-student role play — not involve another living, breathing human. That said, you get hot from the idea of satisfying his needs. So … what’s a strong, sexual woman to do?

Here’s the thing: It’s totally OK if you don’t. “[A woman] should check her own intuition and gut,” says Dr. Megan Fleming, a sex and relationship therapist. “Ask yourself, ’Is this something I think would be a turn-on for me, or am I doing this out of obligation and duty?”

“If you’re pushing your body to do something it doesn’t want to do, it might not be pleasurable,” she adds. Women shouldn’t feel pressured into any sexual experience.

She also stresses that couples should agree that “what I like to do and you like to do stays on the menu and anything you like and I don’t falls off.” Translation: Anything one person isn’t into shouldn’t happen.

Sex therapist Sari Cooper says women should ask themselves, “Are you in a good place in your relationship sexually and otherwise? You don’t want to do something like bring a third in — [it] can be a trigger for people in terms of their jealousy — not for everybody, but some people. You don’t want to do it if your relationship isn’t solid.”

A woman definitely shouldn’t bring in a third person if she feels the relationship is on sexual life support. It should be a way of exploring that’s mutually fun.

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